Entry Number : 149
Now Playing : Tonic - Head On Straight
Quote For Today : "Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are." -- Kurt Cobain
I've spent the last half hour giving Mark reasons to not kill himself, and frankly it depresses me. I can't understand why someone would just want to throw their life away like that. I try so hard to not be judgemental in any way, but I sit here and think.. what in his life is so bad that it's worth dying for? None of the reasons he gives me make any sense to me. I've been through loss in my life and I worked to get through it. I had a hard time with it, but now I'm able to be happy. I'm able to love and be loved. I'm able to laugh, then cry, get over it, and laugh some more. The thing that shits me is he won't get help from anyone. That's what people are there for. But it's not like I can make anything happen. I can only do so much from way down here. ALl I can really do is be here for him and support him. But I guess that's what friends are for.
Speaking of friends, I seem to have been ignoring mine lately, so when I called Rachel to see if she wanted to go somewhere last night she seemed surprised. And, I had fun. A lot of fun. But I have to babysit the little bratty kids tonight so, no fun for me. Oh well, who cares. I don't need a social life. That only gets me into trouble.
Tomorrow we're going to the MSU vs. Ole Miss baseball game! Yay. I love watching sports. Specially sports with cute guys in tight pants that bend over. Lmao. J/K :"> I don't really like guys in tight pants all that much. But it'll still be fun.. if it's not too cold that is.
Anyways, that's all I have to say. Love you, Dexter. :x
Ashley Elizabeth
then || now
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