11:45 a.m. -- 2003-08-14
Entry Number : 321
Now Playing : Country music on the radio.
Quote for Today : "Dwell as near as possible to the channel in which your life flows."
Today I Feel :
I was asked today why I don't talk about a certain someone in my diary. Frankly, I don't feel the need. Everything that happens with me and him will be kept between us. I don't feel like sharing every aspect of my life with everyone anymore. And I don't want to flaunt the fact that I've got someone new already. It would just serve to hurt someone else. I have no intention to hurting that person anymore. Not that I ever did. All I ever want is for everyone around me to be happy.
Me: or maybe i'm just scared of getting hurt again and i don't want to get soo far emotionally attached like i was with dexter
Kanika: And emotionally attached with who like you were with Dexter?
Me: with anyone
Me: i'm scared to give my heart away again
Kanika: This is life. You promise yourself that you'll never put your heart on line again. But there are certain times when you just can't help yourself. You have to do it again. I mean, you will be cautious now, but then you're only human, you will get emotionally attached again. But it keeps getting better.
Kanika: That's what I have understood from everything so far, not that I have really gotten attached with anyone myself. But that's what I understand from around me.
Me: like i know what you mean but i just feel like if anything bad happens again i'm gonna fall to complete pieces worse than beofre
Me: before
Kanika: You won't. That's the good part of all this. You learn from all that and you don't get hurt anymore. And god forbid that anything happens over and over again, you will just get used to it after a while. Just take control of your life. You won't fall to pieces.
She never ceases to amaze me with the way she can put into words what I can't. I've never known such a wise 15 year old. <3 So, yes I'm with someone and I have strong feelings for him. We can talk to each other, and be there for each other. It's a great feeling to not have to stress over other people. So, I just need to start "not stressing" more. That's my new promise to myself. To let things happen as they will, and focus on the steady aspects of my life that I can control. Like school, for instance. What happens with guys, happens. Then I can move on to the next one, and it will all happen again. But I'll be wiser than I was before. With the knowledge that the last guy made me a little bit stronger than the one before. So what if I get stomped on every once in a while. When my heart heals it will be tougher. Stronger. And less likely to break into a billion pieces.. more like a million.
And that is good enough for me.
Ashley Elizabeth
then || now
0 comment(s) so far.
Click here to go to a random diary entry.
Miss These?
Puppies. - 2004-09-26
The Apartment. - 2004-08-06
Daily Grind, June 27th - 2004-06-29
2004 Beale Street Music Festival - 2004-03-16
- - 2004-03-15
All contents copyright ashley-o, 2002-2004.
Image by Me.
Best viewed in 1024 x 768.