11:55 p.m. -- 2003-12-14
Entry Number : 380
Now Playing : Christmas carols
Quote for Today : None.
Today I Feel :
Nessa pmed me to tell me Cam went off to Iraq. She started telling me how she felt about him and there was this pang of jealousy at first then I just let it all go. And I'm truly happy for her. I'm truly happy that she can feel so strongly for someone and give herself so completely to that person. There's no fear in what she feels. She knows how he feels and she know how she feels and it's just that. And there's nothing else.
I only hope when I find that kind of love I can feel the way she tells me she feels. I want that pure love that makes you know there's no one else in the world that your love wants. There's no reason for jealousy. No reason for fighting. And when I talk to her I know that I've never had that kind of love yet, and it hurts my heart. It hurts because I feel like I wasted part of my heart on people that weren't important. At least, important enough to win my love and respect. It feels like that part of my heart is gone and now I won't be able to fully give my heart away to that one special guy.
Why is love so fucking difficult?
Ashley Elizabeth
then || now
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